It was hubby’s birthday yesterday. The sprite’s just turned 29 :) Admittedly there’s not that big of an age gap between us, 2 years and 2 months to be precise. But we’ve been together for over 8 years now, through most of our 20s together which meant at times that gap felt a lot bigger than it really was. When we first met I was 23 and he was shockingly only 21 although he looked about 27! Of course our relationship has like many gone up and down and round the bend, but we’ve always managed to find our way back to each other.
These tips are just based on my own personal experiences. I’ve learnt a lot about myself and about how we work as a couple over the years and I don’t think we will ever stop learning and growing together.
1. Older doesn’t necessarily mean wiser
You’d think having been around for a bit longer you’d just know more right? Wrong. Don’t underestimate how much you can learn from your other half regardless of their age. When we first meant I was pretty deep in credit card debt and was living out of my overdraft. Which these days I find pretty hilarious as an accountant. It was hubby who helped me work out a plan to pay it off whilst incurring the least amount of interest and other bank charges as possible. He’d been careful with his money all his life and has never spent beyond his means. A fact that meant when it came to buying our flat he was able to top up the deposit and cover all the extra expenses just from money he’d saved from part-time jobs he’d had as a student.
2. You will probably get to ‘that’ point before he does
Yes I mean that point of ultimate commitment, solidifying your relationship from just ‘going out’ to something a bit more permanent. Whether it be through marriage, mutual understanding or something else, most couples I know get to a point where they know they’ve gone past the point of no return. Problem is, you don’t always get there at the same time. I remember the conversations I had with hubby about this. It was clear that I was at a different stage in our relationship with me edging towards the 30s and dreaming of a home and family and him in his mid 20s and in his prime. I had to choose what I really wanted and what I wanted to do. So I made the decision to wait, without any pressuring or guilting or manipulating, because I thought it was worth it. When he put that first ring on my finger I knew he’d made his way to the same point, just on the scenic route instead.
3. He’s going to look at other woman
Because all men do, so this probably applies whatever age they are. Feel free to argue that not all men are like that, but basic human nature would beg to differ. Even I meet men that I find attractive all the time, it doesn’t mean I’m going to try and pursue them. There’s a fundamental difference between looking and lusting after and it all comes down to trust. Trust your other half to always hold you highest and be open and honest with you. And yes we do on occasion check out other people together, usually when we spot a good looking ass :)
4. He can help you remember what fun is
I started Uni and then I dropped out of Uni, went to work for a bit and then went back to Uni again and thankfully finished it this time. Round 2 was where hubby and I met and so you could say I was a ‘mature student’ by that point. My mind set was different though as I’d already been through freshers, endless nights of clubbing, moving out and everything that used to be new and exciting just wasn’t anymore. But that’s not true at all because going through those experiences with someone else is an entirely new adventure altogether. Hubby reminded me that life is a balance and that you need to let yourself enjoy living sometimes.
5. Have confidence and never doubt yourself
I used to worry that one day he’d want to upgrade to a newer model. One that giggled and wore short skirts. It sounds so silly thinking about it. And yes, even now on a rare occasion I can become a self doubting jealous monster. But you have to remind yourself that he chose you and he’s with you for a reason. Have confidence in yourself and there’s a good chance he’ll always be attracted to you no matter how wrinkly you get, no matter how much your weight goes up and down, no matter how many times he has to miss the F1 for a family lunch, no matter how many short skirts walk by.